How a three-decade, madly challenging journey that almost brought a
fierce optimist to her knees, multiple times, became the inspiration for a mission
to bring more awareness, joy, love and unity into the lives of others
(just youtube for now).

the force of my nature 
Wildly positive at heart, it would take a serious amount and degree of adversity to push me beyond my absolute limits and the end of my rope. With its infinite options, and a somewhat dark sense of humor, the Universe delivered just the right type and sequence of affairs to keep me on my toes and an ongoing quest for 30+ years.

"I'm not broken. The cracks
of the reassembled pieces
formerly known as me, each part,
merely a reminder
a contemplation
of who I thought I'd become,
or once was: a work in progress."
from Cutting Edges

(published by the Academy Of The Heart And Mind)

A pursuit filled with roadblocks, curious new directions and hurdles to overcome; but however challenging and with too many experiences I would very much like to keep in the past, they have allowed me to grow in ways that would never have been possible without them, nor what I've been able to or will create. For that, I am deeply grateful, as well as now being able to use it to perhaps guide others, sharing whatever may be of inspiration or help in some way.

"We will either find a way or make one" Anibal Barca


I've always been a pretty determined but go-with-the-flow kind of gall, but over time and increasingly so, the degree and combination of difficulties that kept coming and changing has driven me to the absolute edge of my sword, allowing me to discover my warrior spirit. Well, more of it, I guess, as I've always been a fighter. All the while growing into a more expressive, extroverted version of my super shy younger self ;). Now putting myself out there in ways I never thought I would, to inspire and support with what I feel guided and inspired to share. Due to circumstances it's not much at all and nowhere near what I'd like, much less to build an audience, but anything is better than nothing right? Anyone reached is better than no one and having tried to make some kind of difference is always better than to not even bother, in my book anyway ;).*

creative and intuitively passionate

A curious Dutch(wo)man with a fierce zest for life, I have always loved to create. Unfortunately, because of health issues that became progressively severe I've never been able to do much. I've found ways however, or created them rather, to do whatever I could whenever possible. In often the tiniest of steps taking infinitely longer than it normally would, while making impossible and even inhumane choices. But a result is a result, and no one seeing it has an idea of its many, uncommon challenges and painstaking process behind it. While healing in all (as well as impossible) ways and rediscovering the world little by little. In a bit more ambitious than realistic ways by also using my creativity and making some more unconventional choices.

Creativity is what I breathe it seems, and the never-ending flow of inspiration I've had for as long as I can remember, already holds so much more ideas than I could ever put into creations in several lifetimes. And so, I've always done and will continue to do all I can to honor at least as much of it as possible, because I see creativity and inspiration as a beautiful gift I do not want to waste. Combining a passionate nature with an intuitive one, I am deeply grateful for what I've been able to create.

a handmade vintage metal  12th scale miniature working fan

* I am however limited in this because all of my endeavors(1) have been interfered with (I have discovered some shocking evidence of this, so I'm saying that based on much more than the strong hunch and already quite disturbing indications about this I had for much longer), and basically hidden from where it would at least have a fighting chance to be seen. Unfortunately it happens to many all around the world and contrary to popular belief: not just what is deemed 'dangerous', but also all who show we are not as divided as we seem, who refuse to pick sides ―as doing this, so picking sides, is not only supported (most people don't even notice how much they do this and only increases already far too much division), but highly encouraged in this world in all directions and on all subjects these days like never before ―and voices who are capable of actually making a difference, no matter how small, as I believe many small things put together can change the world. (1) that did attract a lot more attention on platforms without censorship, which were (especially back then, several years ago and in the beginning stages) a lot less popular and doesn't make sense to have so much more views organically. But even my account there was hacked and messed with after some time (a video focused on unity and a call to not resort to violence when fighting for justice, replaced with a fully edited 6-minute clip of another, hour+ long video also on my channel, but I've never had a file of myself like that (so the 6-minute clip)